Swimming With The Fishes

Actually it was a Beluga whale and I didn't do any swimming, but I was in the water with a whale, still cool. I was one of those kids that wanted to be a lot of different things growing up. A writer, actor, flight attendant, marine biologist, toy tester, the person who thinks of the names for nail polishes. Seriously how fun would that be. I picked up a nail polish recently named 'Suzi Says Feng Shui'. Can you guess what the color was? It doesn't even matter because it doesn't have to make sense! I would call a brown; Cloudy With A Chance or a green; The Continental Divide. The name just has to sound cool. It would be a great job, yet for today's post we'll remember marine biologist. 

For the last couple of years or so my husband, MJ, has taken me to Mystic Aquarium for my birthday. Something about being at the aquarium gave me energy. I could be around all the ocean life and wonder what it would be like to work with them. I could be a whale trainer or dive with the sea lions. I'd be the person telling everyone why it was okay to pet the sting rays or where the clown fish got it's name. I could dream big until it was time to leave. Then I'd feel empty. I was missing my dreams and realizing most of them could no longer be attained. In reality that's okay, I can't be everything I dreamed of. The problem was I never tried to be one. I was to afraid. So aquarium became a bitter sweet event until the year I saw them. They were just regular people, in the water, with the whales. My favorite part. I would start and finish the day at the whale tank. I had do that. I HAD too. But it was such a minuscule part of my dream, my failed dream.

This year MJ surprised me with the Beluga Encounter, as the aquarium calls it. I have to tell you I was so afraid. I'd been hoping to do this for a couple of years and it was safe to hope,  because like a lot of my dreams it wasn't coming true. Now it was really happening and I couldn't concentrate all day. I didn't have unrealistic expectations. I knew the trainer wasn't going to be so impressed in my interaction with the whale that she'd hire me on the spot because in all her forty years of working with whales she'd never seen someone connect with animal as I have. I was worried about the after. What happens when a dream comes true?

Well, the experience was incredible. Seven people including myself and the trainer went into the water. We got to feel the whale's teeth, pet him, perform hand signals so he'd do a trick, pat his tongue, and have our picture taken. The only not so great part was my daughter, Lucy, crying from a distance, "Mommy, don't go in the water". When I got back she was fine but I was a little blurry. I was sad it was over, it felt like I was coming down from a high. However something had clicked. I had realized I wasn't a huge failure because I never became a marine biologist. Living my dreams in small ways doesn't make me small. I know I'm meant to find the big dream, I really think we all are. I'm slowly learning that participating in the little ones is the only way. 
Oh and in case you were wondering, the color was blue.